So I am having just one rough time at life right now. I get myself spun up in a frenzy just about everyday. It doesn't take a lot for me to end up in a full fledge panic attack. God knows. I have spent all week feeling abandoned and isolated, and yet He was there. He has known it all along.
I went to the Chapel for the second time tonight. It is probably only about the tenth time I have been to church since my first divorce. I met the Pastor. He is just a year older than me. He was caring and prayed for me. He invited me to a Bible study at his house on Wednesday nights. It felt good to have a person talk to me, that shares the same worldview. Someone who is able to be completely objective. That isn't what I sat down to write though.
I believe that God appoints times and places for us. He planned for me to be in that service tonight, and the message spoke right to me. They have been working through the book of Mark. Today's message was from Mark 6:7-11. I have a faith problem. It has been exposed even greater in the last few weeks. I say I believe, but when it gets down to it, when things get ugly, I just can't trust God. I have no idea what is going on in my life. I don't know what he is doing with me. I don't know where I am supposed to go, and I really have no idea what to do next. God does.
I just wanted to add a few notes while it is all on the top of my head. I am praying this week that God will give me more and more faith. When everything else is failing around me, he is the only one who will be able to come through for me.