Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
My life has been a complete disaster over the last few months. I was really feeling down in the dumps today. I found myself asking God why, and asking him how long? I have been struggling to keep a positive attitude, and really trust God. It seems like I go pretty well for a week or so, and then it is like the walls come tumbling down. This weekend was one of those weekends. I found myself in a full fledged pity party. I was just miserable, and depressed. I was talking to someone about my troubles. I was afraid that they would worry that I was just miserable. I wanted to convince them not to worry about me, and I ended up convincing myself.
If I could change the situation that I have been through, then I would change it in a heart beat. I would never want to change the results. I read my bible now, more than I ever have. That is something, because I used to be a bible student! I pray more now, than I ever have in my entire life. I feel so much closer to God, than I ever have in my life. I really feel the Spirit of God doing a work in me. He has given me back my writing. When I was straying from him, I just never could write anything. I tried and always ended up with nothing. When I began to think of all the great things that God has done in my life in just a short time it put a smile on my face. God gave me a joy that I cannot explain. It was like all of the things that were troubling me, just seemed so small compared to the many blessings he has brought to me. I had wandered so far from him. I was so far from his will. He had to take some drastic measures to bring me back to his side. I am sure the feelings of hopelessness and despair will come back. I am certain of that. When they do I have an amazing argument for the devil. You are trying to destroy me Satan, but God is building me up. God is making me more like his Son. Praise God for struggles. Praise God for heartache. I would have never realized how much I needed him without them. I think for once in my life, I really am beginning to understand what James meant when he said "consider it all Joy". I am not sure where I am headed, but I know it is bigger and better than here! I have God. What else do I really need?