I am not deluded. I see all the signs that everyone else sees. If I am honest with myself, then I see little hope. I envision a TV show where someone is trying to give CPR, and his friends finally pull them away because the patient is dead. I am not fooling myself. Sometimes, I find myself arguing with God. I think at times I think he must be crazy. Why would he have me wait? Why would he not give me the peace to walk away? This is so painful. Sometimes, I am not sure how much longer I can go on with this. However, it has never been about me in the first place.
It has always been about God. I should have never placed any hope in human relationships. That is a recipe for disaster. God should be my hope. God should be my strength. This is the God that said if you had the faith of a mustard seed that you could cast that mountain in the ocean. He made the blind to see, the deaf to hear, and the mute to speak. My problems are nothing to him. He spoke the entire world into existence. He can handle this. He is so much bigger than all of my problems. Why am I stressing? Paul said that we have not been giving a spirit of fear. If I am afraid than that hasn't come from God.
I am not deluded. I recognize the reality of my situation. I should not look to at the situation from my point of view. I should look at it from God's perspective. When I focus on his perspective, then it all seems more feasible.