I have to be honest. It has been kind of tough day. I have spent a better part of the day kind of frustrated with God. I ran smack dab into a major crisis just a few months ago. I knew instantly why I was where I was. I had turned away from God. I felt helpless to fix my situation, but I knew that I needed to go back to God. I have been attending Church ever since. I have been praying more than I ever have. I have devoured my Bible. I didn't even read it this much in Bible school. A few weeks ago, I read all of the prophets. I highlighted passages that really spoke to me as I was reading. I had taken some notes on some passages from Job. I was actually going write a few thoughts about it. I was sitting here at my desk. I just sat here thinking. I have tried so hard to make God first priority. I have made some very hard decisions, but they are the decisions that I believe God would have me make. I feel like he has been pushing me to patient. I have tried so hard to wait on him. I was sitting here earlier, because I feel like I have tried so hard to trust him, and yet nothing has changed. If things have changed they have actually got worse. I looked down at the notes I had taken from Job, and I feel like God instantly rebuked me. I swallowed hard, and had to admit that I am not big enough to question him.
If you are familiar with the story of Job, then you know that he was not having a great time of life. He is sitting in a dump covered with boils. He starts to question God. He cannot understand why God has sent such calamity his way. He has spent the last few chapters listening to his friends tell him that he must have sinned. He doesn't remember sinning, and he even ask God to tell him how he has wronged God so that he can repent.
After Job has questions God, God answers him. I just love his response. He says who is this that questions wisdom with ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man. I have some questions to ask you and you need to answer them. There is so much sarcasm in God's response. I just love it. He asked Job where he was when God laid the foundations of the world. He lists all the amazing things that God had done in creation, and then says but of course you know all this. You were born before everything was created. He spends a couple of chapters listing all things he has done, that Job has no idea about.
Job had to be completely embarrassed and ashamed of himself. He tells God he is right. God can do anything he wants, and no one can stop him. He admits that he had no idea what he was talking about and that he knows nothing. He repents.
My problems are not nearly as horrible as Job's. The man lost everything he held dear. Who am I to question God? He is working on something. Maybe he is just working on me. He doesn't ever say he will explain his actions to us. He just says to trust him. God is always good. When life is hard and difficult it can be easy to question God, but if I remember how good God is then I ought to trust him. I have no idea what he is trying to do in my life, but I do know that he is good. Sometimes that is the best you can get. I need to try harder to accept that.